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This old journal was from her early twenties, she’s now in her late twenties and was written while on a trip to Europe. Drunken behaviour, including picking up guys in every city, including wait staff and bar tenders across every page. She had boyfriend at the time (similar type of guy to me) who she constantly cheated on and documented every guy, over 10 in total. She even bought her then boyfriend at the time a present despite all of her cheating. I also think this was normal behaviour for her when she returned home and during her relationships with her other partners in between me.

Him telling you to have no contact is a bit extreme. You haven't described the nature of your relationship with you ex.. Keeping in touch every once in a while is no big deal....but if your in contact on a frequent basis and your doing things with him, that's another story and it would bother me... Two years is a long time to be with someone so why is this issue coming up now? Sounds like deeper issues in your relationship at this point.

I realize there's no perfect answer here, but I'd appreciate any thoughts.

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He had a terrible childhood, which he says he mostly has blocked out (to the point where he says he has very little ability for social memory at all even for things that have happened in his adult life - he won't remember what he talked about with me or what we did last time we hung out unless I remind him) and that his emotional baggage would take years of therapy to sort out, which he is not interested in going through right now. He said that the past two relationships he was in ended badly because the woman agreed at the beginning that she would not expect "more" from him (emotional intimacy-wise) and that he doesn't want that to happen again. He said that he "becomes dead" when people try to force him to open up emotionally, and that he hates who he becomes when that happens. He said up front that he will never want to get married, and will never live with me (anyone he is in a relationship with) and that both of these past relationships ended when the woman changed her mind on their agreement and asked him to move in with them. He admitted that he is terrified of getting too intimately involved with someone because he doesn't want to lose control over his life, doesn't want to have his time monopolized or monopolize my time, and because of that he has very set ideas about how often we will see each other (two or three times a week, more or less). He also has concerns about staying over at my place, having me at his place, basically anything that would "spiral" into us spending too much time together. He is interested in a long-term relationship that is monogamous, he just knows that he will want to keep up certain boundaries like no moving in together, and controlled involvement in each other's lives.

now she knows how we feel

I think righty might be righty, but lefty definitely ain't lefty.

Many of my friends are married. One of them would organise "guys trips" with us to go camping, fish, drink cider and call each other racial epithets all weekend. Another would organise "guys trips" with one other guy who owned a bunch of fast cars and they'd go off and bang women at car race events. You're probably OK with one of those and not the other.